I recently was watching a show on the t.v. and whatever it was the character was having a baby. The friend said "well nice knowing you." Referring that once you have kids, you never see your friends anymore. We haven't used babysitters besides family members and partner teacher's daughter. I couldn't tell you the last time I was out. But every time I get ready to go out, I'm exhausted. I don't want to go out because I come home to feeding a child at 1am then hear him cry at 4:45 and again at 5, so on.
I am not really all that concerned in going out to the bars anymore, but a little break would be nice. I just need to get the motivation to do something. It's just really hard to when you don't sleep and think about the pain of the next night's events.
I am not one to put my friends and family out so that they watch my kids. I don't think that is there job to do. I feel guilty and bad to put them in that position. We are el cheapo so finding a babysitter in not in our future either.
Right now, I'm in that little dark cave mode. It's that busy holiday season and I am one that freaks out without needing to freak out. I have only three pairs of pants that I can fit into and my hair is in desperate need of TLC. But why should I care about my hair when my mornings are psycho and I just put it up in a pony tail. Clothes wise: I will not go and buy new clothes for the post-preggo body. I am trying to lose weight but it's very hard. I can't go workout, I have only two days where I can work in my classroom. By the time I get caught up on all of my work its five and Ash will be home with kids. I live 30 mins away from work. Then I'm in Mom mode. Well, why can't go after kids are asleep? Because its 9 pm and I'm ready for bed myself. Weekends are just me and the kids till Sunday when Ash is off at 2pm And the cycle begins again.
I keep telling myself this too shall pass, but then there will be something else. Sorry to biatch. Just need to vent.
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